Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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