Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
