Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
