Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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