I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
