I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
