Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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