I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
