I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
