my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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