brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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