i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
barbara walters just said penis...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize