he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
