I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
