Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
