Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I want a musical about memes.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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