Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i out mim tonsoeep
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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