we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he was CRYING into my vagina
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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