But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize