need another drink. this is the easiest way
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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