I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
