i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
