omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
