something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
