yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
