we're blogging at a bar
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
