He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
