she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
