You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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