remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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