So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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