No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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