Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better

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(770): View more from Georgia

Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.

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(216): View more from Ohio

For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.

(1-216): View more from Ohio

Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?

(1-501): View more from Arkansas

The priest.

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