I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
