Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
