wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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