did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
