Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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