apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
