You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
