what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I met the friendliest cop last night
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
