omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
