so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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