I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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