hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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