why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
