If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
