He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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