yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
