I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
