What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
