Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
