whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize