my vag is so smooth its legendary
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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