I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
