Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
