THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
