Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
