THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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