Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
