On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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