matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The struggles of a small town man whore
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
